Inside of a Dog by Alexandra Horowitz.

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
-Groucho Marx.


This book was pretty good, but not for the reasons you'd expect. I'm not gonna say I didn't learn some stuff. But what I really enjoyed was the style. This is a woman who is passionate about her love of animals.

She narrated chapters based on the perspective of her personal dog. (Personal dog... I like the way that sounds. I'm leaving it. Just sayin'.) It gets pretty technical at times and

  she references  “anyone who wants to understand the life of an animal must begin by considering what he called their umwelt . . . : their subjective or ‘self-world.’ ”

I also really liked how she explained the technical differences between the actual perception of a human and a dog by both fairly straightforward scientifically based comparison and more poetic comparisons, like the experience of a rose to a human versus the experience of a rose to a dog. There are obviously other instances, such as the difference between our style vision and theirs, but you know. I'm not gonna go on all night.


She also refuses to accept the Cesar Milan Dog Whisperer style school of "accepted" knowledge that dogs are pack animals and therefore the way to gain their respect is to become the Alpha of all Alphas. She points out that being domesticated has separated dogs from their more wild bretheren, such as wolves, and creates unites that are more cooperative and family-like than constant competition and vying for top spot.


There were times when she tried too hard not to be overly scientific and other times where I really loved the off the wall details she threw in.


Either way. Pretty good book.

On Being Less Than Ideal As A Blogger.

I know, I know. I'm like everyone else. I start this blog, I'm really enthusiastic about it and I think, goddamn. I'm awesome. I'm gonna write every day! I'm going to make a million entries! I'm going to be a motherfucking blog ROCKSTAR.

But then I do not have the internet at my house and it's difficult to find time to go someplace public and just sit and type for several hours. (shameless plug: this post is sponsored by the delightful Chat Room Pub in Fort Worth, TX! Thanks, Chat Room. I love you.)

I also am in my midtwenties and therefore my life is either a series of projects or obstacles that require much more energy than anyone in any other age group would reasonably place towards said projects and obstacles. So. There comes in the emotional availability.

So. I'll not say I'm sorry, because when I'm not writing these blogs, I'm out loving people, rescuing animals, having drinks with my buddies, crying my eyes out over guys who may or may not matter in years, recruiting people to my recently re-formed book club and generally having the time of my life. And the best part is, like writing these book blogs, I know this is just part of something so huge and special that I am ridiculously grateful to experience.

I started this blog, honestly, to get over a break up. And it has taken me places I would not have expected. I wish I kept up better. I wish I actually could keep track of every single book I read. But I love what I've done. I've loved the books I've read, I've loved having something to keep focused on.

So I won't apologise for not being great at keeping up with every damn reaction. I'm not sorry that I don't always remember exactly what I wanted to say because I've read too many other books since then and the emotions aren't fresh. I guess this is about as realistic of a picture as you're gonna get for something that is by nature, a product you're creating for others' consumption.

I'm gonna shut up now. I'm getting a little "livejournal" on ya'll. But still. Know that I'm happy. And books are awesome.

The Mercy Thompson Series by Patricia Briggs.

The Mercy Thompson books are an urban fantasy series set in Washington State, specifically in the Tri Cities area of Washington state. Since this series is five books long and growing, I'm not going to do a series of entries dedicated to each book. I'll hit on some minor plot points here and described the characters.
It was a little weird for me to start reading this... I'm usually not a fan of "This Kind" of book. I don't read Laurell K. Hamilton (though I have in the past) and I haven't even finished the Sookie Stackhouse books of TrueBlood fame. I don't like chick lit or supernatural romance or lots of gore and sex. I actually rarely read anything that describes much sex at all, if you're gonna be picky. But this series is different. I can relate to the characters more and I really like the way the first couple are written. I've had issues with the second to last book, Bone Crossed, because it struck me as a the most chick lit-y of the series, but Silver Borne made up for it, in my eyes. This series isn't about showing off how well-versed in literature I am or anything but just enjoying a well-crafted storyline and characters you can really get care about, as much as you can for fictional characters. And for me... that's a lot. The names of the books in order are:
Moon Called
Blood Bound
Iron Kissed
Bone Crossed
Silver Borne

Mercedes Thompson, known as Mercy, went to college to study history and literature. Natrually, she's now a Volkswagon mechanic with her own shop. She's sarcastic, kind, fair, logical, open-minded, snarky, poised, responsible and a score of other adjectives that sound like lip service when you make a list like this. She's also a Native American shapeshifter, meaning she can turn into a coyote at will. This kind of shapeshifter is known as a Walker, and differs from werewolves in several important ways: her transformation is painless, voluntary and is not affected by the moon's cycle. She's also presumably not sterile, which is how she catches the eye of Samuel, one of the sons of  Bran, the leader of the North American werewolves. Mercy was raised by werewolves when her mother, who gave birth at the age of sixteen, came home to find a coyote pup in her daughter's crib. Bran agreed to take in her and raise her, giving her protection under the name of The Marrok, which is his title as leader. It's taken from the name of one of King Arthur's knights who was apparently a werewolf. As of the first novel, the werewolves have not yet come forward and revealed their existence although it isn't too far into the series before they feel the need to take that step, as the Fae did before them.

You see, in Mercy's world, the supernatural is fairly commonplace, even if it's not widely accepted. The Fae population of the world came out of hiding sometime in the not-so-distant past, a decision made by the Gray Lords (a sort of Fae ruling class). The term fae is a broad one used to describe a variety of pleasant and unpleasant supernatural creatures of myth, legend and fairy tale that are European in origin--everything from selkies, brownies and actual fairies to ogres, child-eating monsters and  other uncomfortably powerful creatures. It was deemed that the Time of Hiding was at an end when it appeared that the science of DNA and forensics threatened to reveal the supernatural creatures in hiding, whether they wanted to be revealed or not. Mercy actually purchased her garage from Ziebold Adelbertsmiter, known as Zee, a kind of fae known as a metalzauber or metalsmith because he knew that it would be impossible to continue running it once he was revealed to be fae. He's also fairly famous in the myth sense and one of the few fae that can stand iron.
 Most of the fae were driven from Europe by a combination of newly forged iron and in the wake of Christianity. They moved to the new world to escape, slaughtered a whole host of indigenous supernatural creatures on this continent and then iron and Christianity followed them over here anyway.

Since purchasing the garage, Mercy fixes a number of cars free of charge for the local vampire seethe, as she can't afford to pay them the protection fees they usually receive. It's sort of like paying the mob, because what they protect you from is mostly themselves; incidently, the vampires also haven't come out of hiding... there's really no way to put a positive spin on the fact that they drink human blood. Her contact within in the seethe is Stefan, a very pleasant, honorable, chivalrious vampire who almost painted his van black because of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He ended up painting it to match The Mystery Machine because "even the Slayer is no match for Scooby-Doo." He reports directly to the Mistress of the Seethe, Marsilia, who has it in for Mercy for a variety of reasons. (SPOILER ALERT: the vampires are a big part of the reason Mercy is one of or possibly the only remaining Walker left in the United States.)

At the start of the story, Mercy was living a quiet unassuming life, mostly free of interaction with werewolves and any fae or creature who would cause her trouble until a very young werewolf named Mac showed up, ignorant of how to live as a wolf, half starved with a sad story that helped reveal a lot of corruption across the United States. Pack law is naturally brutal and not something to be ignored, so Mercy took it upon herself to help Mac, as her closest neighbor is the local pack Alpha, Adam Hauptman. After Mac is murdered and left dead on her porch, Mercy ends up reconnecting with Bran, Samuel and forming closer bonds with Warren, the only gay werewolf in Adam's pack, his boyfriend Kyle and Jessie, Adam's daughter. Meaning only to help Mac, Mercy ends up becoming more and more involved in the magic, rules and dangers of the world of the Fae, wolves and vampires. As of the fifth book, it's pretty much fair game as to who wants her dead the most.  She's killed or caused the death of both wolves and vampires, been raped, kidnapped, learned too much about the Fae, and eventually even becomes part of the werewolf pack. Like the coyote with the trickster spirit and too much bravado for such a little body, Mercy just can't seem to stay out of trouble.

Like I said, especially during Bone Crossed, the romantic aspect of this got to be a little too much for me. I like the actiony parts of the story much more than I like any of the parts concerning her attraction to Adam. It doesn't ever get explicit or explore the boundaries of sexuality or really even get beyond just general quasi romantic and intensity. It's never overtly Anita Blake-esque. I just don't really much care for mush or sex in my science fiction. It also is awesome but sucky at the same time that Patricia Briggs has gained such notoriety. This guarantees more books, but also means her books now come out in hardcover first, which equals 'spensive. I also fear the possiblity of a Mercy Thompson movie... which would be absolutely awful unless handled perfectly. Yeah. Like THAT happens.

Tell Me Where It Hurts by Nick Trout

This is one day in the life of a UK trained veternarian, Nick Trout.
It begins with an overnight emergency surgery, with a dog whose stomach needs immediate surgical attention. In the midst of his search for a morning cup of coffee, he sees patients, recounts the story of how he became a vet in the first place, recalls various memorable stories, including some of the most bizarre and several of the best pet owners he's encountered.

He talks about the difficulty in giving patients the diagnosis of obesity in their pets, the lengths 'pet parents' will go to preserve the life of a beloved animal. Where do you draw the line in animal care? What's the proper ratio of quality versus quantity?

Something that I found interesting was the statistics on the suicide rates of vets in relation to the practice of euthanising animals. In comparison to other fields of medicine, vets have the highest suicide rates. Is it because they put animals to sleep? They take the life of any number of pets during their tenure as doctors. Isn't there bound to be an effect? Especially given that anyone who would aspire and take all the years of study necessary to become an animal doctor has to feel a very deep and strong  level of connection with animals.

Let The Right One In MOVIE STYLE!

Ok, I watched the movie again... and I recall now several differences:

There is no mention of Hakan (Eli's guardian) coming back as a vampire, let alone a mindless one who attempts to rape Eli.

Oskar's friend Tommy is left out entirely (which is understandable, especially if you leave out the fact that Hakan isn't around).


The third of the book is greatly condensed, which isn't a bad thing necessarily. They really cover a lot of ground. And honestly, the neatest thing that I wish they could've concluded is that when the vampires become, you know, vampires, their hearts change cell structure. It's as if a tumor grows and takes over the heart. And this tumor is made of BRAIN CELLS. That's right. It's literally a struggle between the dying and abused brain of the person you were before with this new, second brain in your chest, hungry for only blood and survival.

So, ok, I feel good that I didn't leave too much out.

Bless Your Heart, Tramp by Celia Rivenbark.

This is not my first foray into the tart, Southern-fried world of Celia Rivenbark. The first time I ever read her was for her book Stop Dressing Your Six Year Old Like A Skank. And I've never looked back.

Like so many other humor books that get published lately, it's a collection of essays/blogs/articles written by Celia who was formerly a writer for... the NY Times? One of their little family? I'm gonna fact check for a second. Then write my findings here. Instead of just typing out the accurate information and not boring you with this filler. Ok, it was the Morning Star. See! Told you!

But yeah, it's her first book. It's hilarious Southernisms, talking about becoming a mommy at forty, the delightful stereotyping of Southerners on TV, the time her husband tried to make her go for a week without television, and many, many helpful essays on topics from marriage to how to properly measure Southern-style in the kitchen and beyond.


The titles of her books are as follows. If they alone don't convince you she's worth a read, well, then I can't help you. Really. Bless your heart.


Bless Your Heart, Tramp And Other Southern Endearments
We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions from a Tarnished Southern Belle
Stop Dressing Your Six Year Old Like A Skank: A Slightly Tarnished Southern Belle's Words of Wisdom
Belle Weather: Mostly Sunny With A Chance of Scattered Hissy Fits
You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start In The Morning

'Nuff said.



Celia talkin' about Celia.

Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

Fat Charlie Nancy isn't fat. All the stories are Anansi's. Don't talk to spiders, unless it's something you really mean.
Oh, and Neil Gaiman's still incredible.


These are the lessons I take away every single time I read this novel. It's probably my favorite of Gaiman's books--including any of the Sandman series. I know, I know, American Gods is incredible, but this is my favorite. And hey, it's in the same storyline anyway. So, shush, naysayers.

The story is about the two sons of Mr. Nancy, Fat Charlie and Spider. Before his father died, you see, Charles Nancy, nicknamed "Fat Charlie" by his father, didn't know he had a brother. And after he finds out, well, he can't wait to believe he's an only again. And that the world is as logical and boring as he'd led himself to believe, and that magic doesn't really exist.

Turns out Mr. Nancy is really the modern incarnation of Anansi, the West African spider god, the trickster. And he's not lost  a bit of his trickster ways though he's become a somewhat modern man. Fat Charlie was subjected through a variety of embarrassments at the hand of his father as a child. Like the time Mr. Nancy told him that for President's Day, all the kids picked their favorite president and dressed up as them for school that day... so Fat Charlie showed up all decked out in his presidential finery. And he was the only one. Then there was his father's habit of taking him "mermaid watching." There weren't any mermaids. Mr. Nancy was also fond of performing what he referred to as the "miracle of the loaves and fishes."


"He loafs and he fishes and it's a miracle that he makes a living."

But the most embarrassing moment was his manner of death. During a particularly fine round of karaoke, singing directly at a group of sunburned tourists, Mr. Nancy had a heart attack, fell gracefully from the stage and managed to pull the top completely off the blondest tourist.

After Mr. Nancy's death, Fat Charlie is told he's got a brother by his neighbor Callyanne Higgler, (who's in fact responsible for the fact that Fat Charlie and Spider were separated to begin with). And all he has to do to meet him is pass a whisper to a spider. But when Spider shows up, he takes over Fat Charlie's life. He steals his fiancee. He impersonates him at his job and blackmails his boss (who's legitimately up to no good). He even turns the tiny spare bedroom of Fat Charlie's apartment into a window into an alternate space with a hot tub, giant TV and tropical scenery. To get rid of him, Charlie ends up making a deal he never should've made with one the god's from his father's world, who is in league withe his father's oldest enemy. In exchange for her word and a feather, he ends up offering her Anansi's bloodline if she makes his brother go away. Turns out though, Anansi's bloodline includes him. So he has to step up and find out how much he really is his father's son to save the day.



As usual I said a lot without saying much at all. What it wraps up to is this: I love Gaiman's odd humor. I like how overtly British everything is.  I also like that it's one of the first non-Southern books I can remember reading where it's made pretty clear that none of the main characters are white. That's something I missed the first few times I read it, honestly. I don't know HOW, but I did. And I love all the stories about Anansi. I love the way he always ends up getting his, in the end. I love how matter of factly the stories are told. I love the descriptions of Tiger, so dark and bloodthirsty. I also like the casual references to American Gods throughout the narrative. And frankly, any book that has people having to flee in the face of hundreds of homicidal flamingos and then later homicidal penguins is pretty worthwhile right there.

Gaiman always seems to deal with unusual family situations, where it becomes abundantly clear that loving your family in spite of what you may view as their faults is infinitely better than losing them to something that wants to kill and/or eat them... or kill and/or eat you, depending on which you're reading. I like that. I like that his characters are often outsiders who can find a place to belong. And who hasn't felt that hope in their heart when they can't help but think there's no where in the whole wide world where they fit in?

Bite Me: A Love Story by Christopher Moore.

Now this may be a faux pas, but I am going to do another reaction to a vampire book... but let me tell you, this is so different from Let The Right One In it's not even funny. Actually... it's very funny. In a sort of you had to be there way.
I can never get enough of Christopher Moore. This man is a flippin' genius. Although I do not think this is his best book (that honor either goes to Lamb, A Dirty Job or Blood Sucking Fiends: A Love Story).
This is the third part of his series about vampires set in San Francisco.

When the series began, it was the story of C. Thomas Flood, an aspiring writer from middle America. He moves to San Francisco to realise his dream of being a writer.  He meets a woman named Jody late one night outside of his job at a local Safeway, where he manages the night stocking crew known as The Animals. A local homeless man known as The Emperor (who is the Emperor of San Francisco and Protector of Mexico, based on the real life Emperor Norton) plays the part of guide, observer and knight errant. So after he meets Jody and befriends the Emperor, Tommy thinks he's got a pretty sweet deal going on. What he doesn't realise is that Jody is a vampire... and his life will never be the same.

In the first two books, they defeat the vampire that turned Jody with the help of two SF police officers, the Emperor, his dogs Bummer and Lazarus and all the Animals, except Simon. They take all the money and art on the ship and go to Vegas where they hook up with a high price call girl named Blue... because her skin is dyed blue. Jody and the original vampire agree to leave the city, but Tommy can't stand that idea so he has them bronzed instead. When he drills holes in the bronze so Jody can listen to him talking to her, she turns to mist and streams out of her bronze shell. She then turns him into a vampire. Hilarity ensues as they find a minion in the form of Abby Normal, goth girl and whiner extraordinaire. (She's also the best friend of Lily, one of the main characters from the book A Dirty Job) and her gay best friend. Part of the trouble of now having two vampires to feed is solved by first feeding off of a homeless man named William. William is famous for his sign, which reads I Am Homeless and Have A Huge Cat. The cat, Chet, is where things get interesting.

Because by the end of the novel, when things seem to be going right finally, they begin feeding off Chet. They shave him to have better access and then return him to William. And that's when Chet, the Vampire Cat descends on William and things just go to a whole new level of ridiculous.

And that's also where the third novel starts.

I am not a huge fan of Abby Normal and she is the narrator for You Suck and Bite Me. And in this story, they have to stop the enormous army of vampire cats, birds and vermin that Chet has unleashed on the city. Not to mention all the disappearing homeless people...

I'm not going to wrap up the whole plot and though it might seem like I gave everything away for the previous two, believe me, I didn't. I love Christopher Moore's ability to incorporate characters from other books, like Abby and Lily being best friends and Rivera/Cavuto's past experiences on the force. I also especially appreciate the part where Jody goes into Asher's Second Hand and speaks to Charlie Asher, the main character of A Dirty Job.

But this isn't one of my favorite Moore books. I enjoyed it, don't get me wrong. I liked the idea of the animal vampires being more instinctual and better at  discovering their vampire powers. I liked the mist of mice. I liked the process of finding a vampiric cure. I even kinda liked Chet morphing into more than just a cat... even more than just an enormous vampire cat. I even liked the idea of this coven of vampires from the old world to clean up the mess made by the original vampire, Ben. They roared into town guns (fangs?) a-blazin' to fix the issue only to find... no need. There are indeed a lot of cute parts to this novel, but overall, it just isn't one of the best, in my opinion.

So although I recommend reading it, I don't recommend starting with it. Pick up the first and second and read it to round out the series. Besides, who starts a series at the end? Crazy people. That's who.

Let the Right One In by John Adjvide Lindqvist

I'm going to try to keep most of the really big shocks under wraps. I'm going to have to reread this to make sure I'm separating the book and movie because it's been a minute and the plot's getting muddled.
After seeing this movie a couple years ago, I was floored. The sound quality, the subtlety and the acting made this movie really stand out to me. It was a little twisted, too; naturally I had to read the book as soon as possible.
If you strip away the vampire part, this book is a love story between 12 year old Oskar and his new neighbor, named Eli who he sees as a very strange girl to whom he's mysteriously drawn. Eli is Oskar's friend and confidante, the one he takes his problems to after being victimized by school bullies for years.
But you can't strip the vampire away. Eli isn't a normal little girl. This is obvious from the moment Oskar first encounters her on the playground. He comments on her smell, noticing that honestly, she smells like she hasn't bathed in years. Because she hasn't and she's been out of  practice being around normal people for so long, she's forgotten to clean herself. He sees her leap down from the top of the jungle gym, seemingly floating to the ground, he hands her a Rubik's cube that she returns completely solved the next day. And she begins talking to him by informing Oskar that they can't be friends, not ever.
While Oskar is trying to figure it out, he wonders if it's her very protective grandfather. Turns out, he isn't her grandfather. He's a pedophile who goes out and drains people's blood for Eli's sake in exchange for money. It's made clear, however, that he'd be perfectly willing to go without payment if he could only be intimate with Eli.
Oskar, meanwhile, has finally found a friend and an escape. He asks Eli to be his girlfriend. She doesn't say no, but her exact response isn't what it appears to be on the surface. She simply tells him, "I'm not a girl."
In spite of Eli's early warnings, they become very close. Eli becomes a protector and kind of mentor as well as a companion. She helps him fight back against the bullies who torment him. She is nearly discovered because she murdered one man, Jocke, by snapping his neck after draining him and a woman, Virginia, she's attracted the suspicion of a local man named Lacke who was friend to Jock and sometimes boyfriend to Virginia. Her guardian/pedophile is discovered while killing and willingly offers his blood for Eli. He falls from a hospital window, only to break open on the ground below. This doesn't stop him from becoming a vampire, however. Even undead, he still seeks out Eli. Virginia, in fact, also becomes a vampire and willingly commits suicide by exposing herself to sunlight while she's in the hospital.
The novel ends with Eli rescuing Oskar from the older brother of his main nemesis and Eli and Oskar leaving the city together, to meet what fate they may.

A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole

I'm embarrassed to say this is my first time reading this book.
This is embarrassing because I can vividly remember having at least a couple discussions with friends or customers about this title, recommending it heavily and even debating plot points. Honestly, I have no idea where I got any of what I was saying. Because the minute I started reading it, I realized, oh…. Yeah…. This is entirely new to me. (I had a similar experience with The Secret Garden and another book that I can't yet remember the name of. I'll keep you all updated, since I'm sure you're on the edge of your seat after my few months absence.)
But anyway, back to the book.
I absolutely adore this book. It's perfect for me. I have a very odd sense of humor and I adore picaresque novels, in which the hero of the novel isn't really a hero at all. In fact he's often a rogue or a loner or otherwise morally reprehensible or ambiguous. I may not be giving the most precise definition of picaresque, but it's close enough for government work. It's Spanish in origins, I believe and is more often than not satirical in nature. As a book snob and former English Major, I really should have a better handle on this, but you get the idea.
Anyway. The main character is just that. An anti-hero. And let me just say, I absolutely HATE Ignatius J. Reilly.
The descriptions of his room, his masturbatorial fantasies (that was a little difficult to read, I'll be honest), his habits, the way he speaks to his mother; he's disgusting. Honestly, the only thing I liked was his hat. I must admit that's a mighty fine hat. I do love his utter failure/mastery of his job as a clerk, his solution for the seemingly undignified position of hot dog vendor. Although I know at least a couple people who have been unable to complete the book because of their feelings towards Ignatius, I found his absolutely irredeemable nature to be the reason I became so fond of him in the end. Anyone that self involved, you almost have to root for him. He reminded me of the main character in Miniver Cheevy (a poem linked here), only much less passive in his contempt for the world.
I felt a deep affection for all these flawed characters. Myrna Mirkoff and her ridiculous reading of sexuality into every single act (though she's probably got a bit of a point). Irene Reilly, Ignatius' long-suffering mother, finally finding freedom and love with Mr. Robichaux (here's hoping there's no "communiss" around).
Lana Lee, who I absolutely adore and whose dual role as Madame and pornographer make so many delightful parts of the story possible, including Darlene's ambition to become an "exotic" in the Night of Joy club and parodying Scarlett O'Hara. And you can't forget Burma Jones... I adore him. Honestly, this book is rich with enjoyable moments and characters.
My absolute favorite part of the book, though, is the pornographic photo involving his copy of the Boethius, The Consolations of Philosophy. That has stuck with me stronger than almost any other image in the book. It was so brilliant, it really was.
In conclusion. I'm glad that this didn't end up being a re-read. Reading this book reminded me why I read at all, all the ideas and the hilarity and absurdity. It came at a time when I really needed it and I am so glad that I got to experience it for the first time.

The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara

I love any book about the Civil War. PLUS this is the book that inspired Joss Whedon to create the show Firefly (and the movie made from the series after its cancellation, Serenity). Needless to say, I dove into it with such enthusiastic intent.

This book was difficult for me to get into, honestly. The battle of this book is Gettysburg. Bloody, desperate, horrific. I wanted something fluffier, something less... real, I guess. It bothered me that these were based on real people, who lived and breathed and loved and died. I can't stand anyone suffering of any kind in anyone around me, so to think of the passion and belief these people had to carry through the battle to just make it through the day.

My extremely limited experience with military life has shown me the depth of the connection between the soldiers and officers who go through battles together... it's intense. I am seriously in awe of the level of emotional commitment these people have for each other. I am so apolitical, mostly because I can't make myself sit down and form concrete, objective opinions about things that affect people so deeply. That's what I took away. The pointlessness and sadness and my desire to want to make people not have to go through this. I value so much of the broken and cracked and painful in life but I've never been able to reconcile war into any of my philosophy. Some people love it... they really do. They come away tormented and scarred... and part of them wants to go back, wants the adrenaline. It's insane to read this, know people who've served and try to think about it all together.

Eating the Dinosaur by Chuck Klosterman.

Having been a fan of Chuck Klosterman for so many years, I've gotta say.... I really enjoyed this.
However, Klosterman, who is nothing if not self aware, seems to be a little... reflective of his status as a literary/pop culture phenomenon. He's trying to be a little less gimmicky, a little less crazy connection to a crazy conclusion... which is in ways both good and bad.

I honestly don't think that this book is as good as some of his other works. But I find that the more I love an author, the more I'm disappointed by a work the first time I read it. And as I'm a huge Klosterman fan, my expectations are naturally gonna be way too high. I mean. It recalls the first time I read the last Harry Potter.... that should probably be The Last Harry Potter. I loathed it. I was angry and disappointed. But when I got over myself and went back and read it again... I've read it probably twenty times now.

I adored Klosterman's new distancing from his previously formulaic wacky connection works. But even though I appreciate him delving a bit more into the philosophical part of the subjects he's been writing about, I think I just wanted to read a new chapter or two out of Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs and that isn't really fair to Mr. Klosterman, the book or myself. So I'm gonna stick to loving his dissection of the Chris Gaines/Garth Brooks experiment and of course... I almost peed myself with his essay about Rivers Cuomo. I'll pick it up and read it again later and develop a more fair and balanced sort of perspective on it... which is exactly the sort of thing any of his writings demand. These are bar essays, toilet essays--the sort of thing you can pick up at any time and start a conversation about, with anyone, and it's guaranteed to take you places you never thought you'd get by just talking to someone.

I'd definitely recommend this to anyone, possibly even as a first foray in the world of Klostermania. Because let's face it... it's what it's become.

The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan

Since I apparently can't get over my block after seeing this damn movie, I'm going to simply write a reaction to each book as I get in the mood... sorry. I'm doin' the best I can. (Tonight's music soundtrack is my dear friend Casey, playing House of the Rising Sun... thanks, Case.)

The Sea of Monsters is the next book in the series. I absolutely loved this, though I will not say it's my favorite of the series....though I think it has some of my favorite moments. Introduced in this book are Thalia, the girl whose spirit is living inside the tree that helps guard the borders of the camp. Tyson, who ends up being Percy's younger brother. We also discover that Percy can speak to Hippocampi... and I love that. Tantalus, one of the punished kings from the fields of punishment becomes camp director after poor Chiron is suspected of poisoning Thalia... the tree is dying and to revive it, there's a quest to retrieve the golden fleece. I could summarise the plot more, but really the important parts: Thalia is released from the tree and Luke is revealed to have been the one to poison her in the first place. I adore this book. It had some of the best slapstick moments of the series... and c'mon now, The Party Ponies? Amazing. I'll say it again. AMAZING.

The Lightning Thief, MOVIE STYLE.

I could not have been more disappointed in this adaptation.

That's right, dear readers, I put off updating my blog until I saw this stupid movie so that the entries could be together.
Before you get all uppity with me and tell me, oh blah blah, it's a MOVIE, they can't make it exactly like the book, please remember you are reading a book blog. And I have absolutely no problem with whatever they leave it, it's what they CHANGE that irritates me.

I found the movie to not only completely destroy the plot of the book (which was RAD), but to also be surprisingly tacky. Rosario Dawson, what the HELL were you doing? I mean, apart from the fact that they went up during the summer (so Persephone would be NOT IN THE UNDERWORLD; a point they were careful to mention specificially in the book), but her role was stupid. And again, I'll say it, tacky.

They left out Clarisse, the daughter of Ares with whom Percy has so much trouble. They left out the way Annabelle feels about Luke before they find out that he's the one who's betrayed them. They added in all this ridiculous CRAP, left out some of the coolest and most movie-worthy scenes. I could write for pages and pages about what was wrong. I am seriously pissed that my buddy paid for me to see this movie. It wasn't worth even seeing it for free, in my opinion.

Chris Columbus, who is notorious for dumbing down kids movies (which incidentally worked for the first Harry Potter), just failed at what could have been a worthwhile and incredible series.

The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

I'm sitting here, listening to Old Flame by The Arcade Fire (one of my favorite bands). And I adore this book, yet I can't think of a single thing to say about it. I've been trying to write this reaction for weeks.

Here's a summary, to begin with:
Perseus Jackson, known as Percy, is a 12 year old boy and strange things always happen to him... things that aren't his fault, but are so inexplicable that he gets blamed for them. As in most modern YA fiction, there's a supernatural reason he's been kept in the dark about. One day, after just such an event occurs, Percy's strange friend Grover tells him the truth:
Percy Jackson is a demigod.

His father is one of Greek gods. The incredibly stinky man his mother married? She choose him to protect her son. Demigods have a distinctive odor which attracts monsters. And the weird attacks and unexplained events and weird people who seem to mess up his life at school? Monsters that nobody can recognise because of the Mist, which disguises all monsters, from the eyes of the mere humans, the mortals. Grover isn't even a kid with a funny walk like he seems. He's a satyr, a half-human, half-goat. And his math teacher? Not a man in a wheelchair, but a centaur (half-man, half horse).
Grover's job is to go around and find demigods, like Percy, and escort them to the one place in the world they'll be safe: Camp Half Blood.

After some interesting misadventures and tons of really awesome, off-hand lessons in the way Greek mythology and history worked, they reach the camp. There are cabins for each of the gods of the Greek pantheon and nobody is aware of who Percy's father is, so he stays in the cabin for Hermes. During a particularly vicious game of Capture the Flag, he uses the power of a river to defend himself against a daughter of Ares and Poseidon's green trident appears above his head.

This causes a bit of a problem and a bit of a stir, as story goes that due to a prophecy that one of their children would make a decision at the age of sixteen that would either save or destroy Olympus, the three head gods, Zeus, Poseidon and Hades have vowed to stop having children... but looks like somebody's betrayed the oath, don't it?

After he moves into the empty cabin for Poseidon's children, his education in the ways of the demigods and Camp Half Blood continues. He finds an animosity and friendship with Annabeth, a daughter of Athena and Luke, a son of Hermes. He learns more and more about what he can expect his life to bel ike and the lives of those like him. Percy finds the camp is at least partially protected by another demigod named Thalia (a daughter of Zeus), who exists in the shape of a tree on the very border of the camp because she died protecting the two demigods who traveled to camp with her. But soon, disaster strikes. Zeus, finding out that Poseidon broke his oath, accuses Percy of stealing his Master Bold, the powerful lightning bolt that is one of the sources of his power. The rest of the book is about the adventures he has while just trying to clear his name and keep himself alive....

This is an EXTREMELY abbreviated summary and hardly any of my favorite moments were mentioned. I've had such a hard time typing this because it's so dense, so good but not at all overwhelming. I don't want to ruin the rest of the story for anyone, so I'm just gonna have to type from the hip, so I mean, let's put this out there.

I cannot say enough good things about this book to prospective readers at my job. It is a smart, fun, funny and engaging series. The movie looks incredible--I've seen the previews only but still.
I know everyone says "for fans of Harry Potter" and all that sort of stuff about this series, but honestly, this is just for fans of anything smart, anyone who appreciates a good metaphor for the awkwardness and insecurity of the early teen years. This is just for anyone who wants a good time.
So. Read it, kids.

Button, Button by Richard Matheson.

Spoiler heavy; sorry, kids.

This is a collection of short stories that's been rereleased under the title The Box. That's what they named the movie (which is currently out and I hear Cameron Diaz dies in it... reason enough for me to RedBox it) so that's how they renamed the collection.

I love Matheson's short stories. Something in me really responds to these bitter, crusty men fighting against a world that does them wrong at every turn, and even the weak, simpering women who get what they deserve.

Button, Button (the title story) is about a couple who receive a box in the mail and inside is a button. If they press the button, they'll get... a million dollars? some ridiculous amount of money. But as a result of them pressing it, someone they do not know will die. You can imagine where it goes from there. Yep, you guessed it: the wife presses it and the husband dies. As she's crying and blaming, the man in the shadows who explained how the box works of course pops in and says sardonically, "Madam, do you really think you knew your husband?"
Yuk, yuk, yuk. Kinda trite, but still a goodie.

My favorite from this collection was probably "The Girl of My Dreams," about a couple who exploits the woman's psychic ability to know when and how people are going to die. They will go to a family and tell them the circumstances of a loved one's death before it happens, leaving out the exact dates or locations and will only tell them the full story after they are paid for the information. The man despises the woman and wants only to make enough money to leave her. He, however, gets his just desserts when he accidently kills her after she blows what could've been their biggest score ever. Her dying words describe how he'll be killed--but she can't find the strength to get out the when or where. It ends with the man thinking about the person who will someday kill him, wondering who he is and what he's doing right then.

I guess to wrap it up, I didn't enjoy this collection as much as the I Am Legend collection (which was the inspiration for the Will Smith movie of the same name & also the Charleton Heston Omega Man movie of yore).
I don't know if it's just that I'm more familiar with Matheson's style or I wasn't as in the mood for his usual brand of racist misogyny. But if you're looking for an easy bunch of short stories with a sick twist, look no further. You've found your book.

Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick

Now, I'll say loud and proud that I read a TON of teen books. I've read the Twilight books, the Gemma Doyle trilogy, everything Garth Nix has written... the list goes on and on.

But this book was just... bad. I chose to read it because the cover art is freaking beautiful. I gotta say, whoever the designer was for that cover, it's just awesome. I was honestly hoping it'd follow the other trend for YA fiction these days, and that's mythology. It could've made a wonderful story about Icarus with that cover.

It was about a young, brunette self-described average-looking girl in high school... and a mysterious black-eyed loner type she's paired up with in science class.... yes, that DOES describe the beginning of Bella and Edward's illustrious romance... but Patch (the loner) is a fallen angel, not a vampire.

Huh.

I mean, it was done... well? I don't particularly mean well-written or well-constructed. I just remember being sad that the storyline was so simliar to Twilight because it had some real potential. If it had explored more of the history of the angels, both fallen and otherwise, or gone into details in other ways or any of a number of other things, it could've been really really awesome. As it was, I valiantly finished and felt disappointed.

Becca Fitzpatrick, if you see this, I'm sorry I didn't like your book. But I believe in you as a writer... I think you can do more. Make it into a series! Just don't go focusing in on the doomed love story and I think you'll find you've got a winner.

The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work by Alain de Botton

Having read de Botton's book How Proust Can Change Your Life when I was an undergrad and deeply interested in how abstract, stuffy, 'underrated' philosopher/writers could change my perspective... you know, to prove that I was deep and interesting. Either way, I fell in love with de Botton's writing style.

So, having been unemployed for an embarrassingly long period of time and forced to slough through the mires of the job hunt, in the middle of a terrible depression (both country-wide and personal), I found this book and fell right in again. Each portion focuses on different people in different careers, ten in all.

So while I walked through undergrad and tried to find myself academically and intellectually, de Botton kept me warm at night. And now that my college career is pretty firmly behind me, de Botton helped me keep perspective looking for how I'm going to spend my day to day bringing home the bacon. I've found it again in the walls of my retail bookstore... and although I love it, a job is a job is a job. And although it's interesting and sometimes fascinating to see what goes into being a rocket scientist or a dock worker or a biscuit manufacturer, every job and every day has its ups and downs, its moments of beauty in unlikely places and annoyances.

And hey, that's just life, ain't it?

The Wild Things by Dave Eggers

This is the adult novelisation of the movie version of the children's book Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak.

Take a moment. Read that twice. Think, oh, ok. And proceed.

The movie Where The Wild Things Are had its screenplay co-written by Spike Jonze (geeeeenius) and Dave Eggers (uber hipster writerman). In as much as the store penned by Sendak all those years ago is about himself.... and so the Spike Jonze movie is kind of about his version of being Max. And Eggers' version is his side of the story of being Max.

Now, I'm gonna post SOME of my thoughts here, but not all of them, as I've yet to see the movie. I promise I'll post a part two to this update as soon as I get a chance.

I loved this book. I mean, I do loves me some Eggers. He created the Haggis-on-Whey books (http://www.amazon.com/Giraffes-HOW-Doris-Haggis-Whey/dp/1932416978/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262992030&sr=8-6), such as I enjoyed what I've read of his stuff and like everyone with even an ounce of hipster street cred, I was both amused and touched by A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. But I have to say, seeing him take a tiny children's story and place so much more into it made me smile a little more than I have at him in years.

For those who aren't familiar, WTWA (sendak's version) is about a little boy named Max who gets sent to his room without supper one night. Since his mother punished him, he decides to take a boat to an island where the (can you guess) the wild things live. He is fierce and wearing a wolf suit, so he is made their king. And the Wild Rumpus ensues, which involves tons of dancing and romping about. Eventually, though, he decides to return home... to find that his mother has laid a tray of supper for him in his room.

Well, the book is this, only moreso. It deals more with the loneliness and the issues surrounding his family. His sister is growing up and doesn't have time for him. His mother is dating someone, of whom he isn't a huge fan. He drenches his sister's room in water as revenge for her not defending him against her friends during a snowball fight. I don't want to go into too much detail, so as not to ruin this for anyone who is still planning on seeing the movie, so I'll just leave it at that and say that so far, this franchise (yes, it's a franchise now) did not disappoint.